What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 00:56
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Especially a lifetime of it.
PSA: Splatoon 3 On Switch Has Made Some Cuts To Keep Pace With Switch 2 - Nintendo Life
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As i do to all so called friends.?
What would it take for you to consider yourself a "Swiftie" like Flavor Flav?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was very sick at this time too.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I write beautiful poetry .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Human-sized Labubu doll sells for more than $150,000 - BBC
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We all went to grammer schools
Gut microbiome study links Parkinson's disease to environmental chemicals - Medical Xpress
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
6 Daily Habits Doctors Say Will Help You Live Longer - SELF Magazine
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She loved him until the end.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Is it true that in 2028 there will be a new AIDS variant that will wipe out all the LBGTQ+ people?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
1.5 TB of James Webb Space Telescope data just hit the internet - theregister.com
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My life is so biszare .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Can a twin flame runner be happy in a karmic relationship?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
What were some things that the ancient Greeks excelled at compared to the Romans?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
F1 reveals 2026 calendar as Madrid replaces Imola - Motorsport.com
Im dying but, im not bitter.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I waited trembling.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I said to her
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Was to survive, this bastard.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
When she asked me how she looked .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She married twice! .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And i lived it daily.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She wouldn,t have been !
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
She was in good health!
This is soul school!.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I could never make a relationship work though!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Ive learnt so much.
Who then, do I blame.?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We were not on the streets..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Comes on , in middle age.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was seconnd youngest,
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But it wasn’t much.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He knew the spot.
It was going to be , some day.
But, we were locked up after school.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
So, i spoilt her more .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
(And it was in our own minds.)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was 9 years of age.
I have no regrets .
What did i know ?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But ive been too sick for many years..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I was scared of men, in general
One cannot live in the past .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She found it foreign!.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Im still living with it.
I don,t even have a pension.
My family never makes their pension either.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I will be 64.
Put me off passion for life!!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I think the readers, may guess!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
So whats the point in blame.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
All the time i was locked up.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Would this be the day?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He resisted the act ,that day.